Thankfulness, Mindfulness and Gratitude Ensure a Full Life
Despite a lifetime of marketing to convince us otherwise, there is no one size fits all for happiness. I've found that my formula is simplifying, slowing down, and observing. Talking less and listening more. Being aware. Awake. I’m also incredibly thankful I came to this conclusion so early in life (If I’m very lucky, I’m half way through.)
A hike in the mountains, skiing down a hill, spending time with the people I care about. Listening to music. Reading something brilliant. Eating good food...slowly. These are all what makes life amazing to me. The trick is turning everything else off so you don't miss these moments. Otherwise you're just going through the motions. Endlessly worrying (about the past or future) means we miss the life that is right in front us.
We can turn this attention towards others. What good is living this life, if you're sleep walking through it? Half measures never did much good.
It's a slow skill set to develop, and requires work. I didn't realize how often I'm on auto pilot until I tried to turn it off. If I wanted more of a human experience, then shouldn't I also provide that to those around me, regardless of how well I know them? Wouldn't direct eye contact, listening, and a thoughtful reply be more genuine? Or should I just resort back to the easier way? After all, it's unlikely I'm going to see this person again, right?
I had a cashier strike up a conversation with me a few months ago. I could have done what I always did, pull from my database of go-to one liners as a means to pass the minute I didn't feel like talking to anybody, or I could have listened.
Instead I went to manual override, and turned that part of myself off. I looked into her eyes, gave her my attention, and listened. By the time we were done ringing up my groceries, I had found out her husband of 35 years had died of cancer. This woman's soul hurt, she lost her companion, and now she was telling somebody, a total stranger, who was willing to listen. Ten minutes ago, I didn't know this lady, but now I was hugging her before I left. Not only was she a beautiful person, but she had taught me a couple valuable lessons.
The first lesson was that you never know what somebody else is going through. Not everybody wears it on their sleeve. Even those who do, only allow you to see what they feel like sharing. Second, was that I was able to connect with somebody who desperately needed it (as it turned out, I needed it too) simply by slowing down and being present. I can hope that she got back as much as I did from the experience.
Will there always be a connection like this with everybody you meet? Of course not. But you will only find out, if you stop for a moment, get outside of yourself, and strive to be as genuine as possible, as often as possible. For me, it’s a work in progress. But I’m thankful to have recognized its importance. Likewise I was also thankful for meeting her that day and truly humbled by my experience with her.
There is no reason everyday can't be Thanksgiving. (No I don't mean gravy either, although tempting.) Thankfulness, mindfulness and gratitude can ensure you, and those around you, a full life.
Happy Thanksgiving.